Sex Warrior Pudding

I didn't know this until I bought this DVD home that it was part three of a trilogy. Maybe that's why I have no freakin idea what's going on in this one. So I looked up the first two parts and this is what I find out we need to know before watching part 3.

Shuta inherits a restaurant named A Lamode from his father. A bunch of hot big breasted waitresses work there. On the side they fight crime. Shuta becomes infatuated with Pudding, who becomes Black Pudding at times. The end.

So now, let's start with chapter three, huh?

Shuta is hanging upside down from the ceiling while this being named King Lividoll tempts him with this virtual girl in a game Shuta plays, no doubt a game invented by the Japanese. She comes to life and starts to give him a blowjob. During this, Pudding enters and starts to kick some ass.

Then we get a title sequence. The song is in Japanese and it wasn't subtitled so I have no idea what the song is saying. But I do hear the words "Ohhh eeee...ohhhhh eeeee" a lot.

After that, the narrator catches us up by telling us the restaurant is full of fighting waitress. Or the people inside are fighting the waitresses. Whoever wrote the subtitles must've been dyslexic. Anyway, we find out that whole pre-title sequence was a dream Shuta, often called Manager, had.

He walks by a room where Harue is trying to make a cake. Apparently there's some festival going on and she wants to make something good for it. Shuta spotting Harue's heaving breasts, decides to make it good alright. So he tells her to put her boobs in a thing of silicone (Ironic, huh?) to make a mold, then they can make boobie cakes. So she does so and while she's bent over, Manager feels her up. Well, she tells him to do it, but I think it still qualifies as sexual harassment.

When the silicone molds are done, they proceed to do it and Harue confesses it's her first time. And she has blue pubes. I dunno why, but I think a girl with blue pubes is interesting. I tried to get my girlfriend do dye her's but...

Anyway, after the fuckin' they make the boobie cakes and Manager licks them gingerly. Pudding gets jealous, so she invites him to her house. Manager eagerly accepts.

Shuta arrives and discovers that Pudding and Mama Pudding look exactly alike. I mean, wow, how often does THAT happen, huh? And unless there was some mention of this in the previous two films, I'm a little confused on why Mama Pudding wants Manager to hook up with Pudding so badly. She pretends to be Pudding so he can bang Pudding, but Mama gets all hot and bothered and keeps him for herself. They try to hide this from Pudding. This gets weird cause they're screwing on Pudding's bed while she sleeps on the floor next to them.

So it's the next day and Manager and Pudding are at their booth at the festival and Pudding admits to having feelings for Manager. So they proceed to have sex at the booth. Off to the side, a couple is also having sex. They appear again later, so remember them.

A little while later, the other fighting waitresses appear and wake Manager up. While trying to wake him up he mumbles about Mama Pudding licking his shaft one more time, which pisses Pudding off, so she storms off. When he wakes up one of the waitresses Mizuzu kicks his ass and calls him a bastard. Ahh, flashbacks. Shuta runs off to find Pudding.

She's transformed into Black Pudding, which to put it a lot more simply than the film put it, whenever she's super pissed off about something, she turns into Black Pudding. Think of it has a horny female version of "The Incredible Hulk."

"You wouldn't like me when I get angry..." Pulls out strap-on dildo.

Anyway...

Shuta apologizes to Black Pudding and she said if he truly loves her, he'll make her cum. That's...exactly what she said. So they proceed to boink. In the meantime, that couple that was screwing, turns out the guy was a robot. Ladies, don't ya hate it when the guy you're screwing turns out to be a murderous robot? So the robot attacks and they call Manager, who says he's busy with Pudding, call back later.

Pudding starts to lighten up (literally and figuratively) and they have some of the hardest fuckin' ever put to anime porn. Then she orgasms and what happens next is just mind blowing, but not in an orgasmic way. Ok, she cums and suddenly all the bad guys, including the robot that was attacking, just explode. King Lividoll, upset, accidently self destructs himself. No wonder women are always looking for the best orgasm in the world, it could help fight crime and kill bad guys. I guess I, as an adult male, must do my part. I'll work on that later.

Apparently, all is right in the world and Shuta hooks up with Pudding and they have a happy ending, so to speak.

This was possibly a hard film to review because it's all in Japanese, it's anime, there's a lot of sex, and it's part three of a trilogy. But I presented to you what I saw in this short, and if the review didn't make any sense, that's because this film doesn't make much sense, storywise anyway. Course, I think this is just an outlet for sexually frustrated Japanese men to release some tension.

-Jason

The ABC's of Sexual Education For Trainables

Sex.

Now that I got your attention. How do you teach sex to kids? But most of all, how do you teach kids to the (going with the P.C term here) mentally handicapped? A bunch of people in the '70s thought they had the answer, so they put it on film and called it "The ABC's of Sexual Education For Trainables."

"What the hell is a trainable?", you may be asking yourself. I guess it's just an outdated word for the mentally handicapped. So if you're offended, send your complaints to them, not me, ok?

We start off with a nice melody playing while some girl is walking down the street. Soon, a car pulls up along side her and calls her over. She walks over and the guy in the car starts fondling her hair. Then she gets in the car. Soon, a Charles Manson reject is arrested in the street at night. No, he wasn't the guy in the car, this is an unrelated image. We then learn that the narrator's name is gonna be Richard Dix and the laughs can now begin.

Dick is here to tell us how to explain sex to the trainables and that it should be done in a way that isn't scary. But they ended up making it goofy as hell in the process.

We go to a classroom full of trainables and they all shout out various words for "penis". My favorite is "Ding-dong". DING DONG!

Next is a girl with a horrible accent showing some bad pictures of a man and a woman and asking the trainables around her what the difference is between a man and a woman. She asks one trainable girl if she knew what "the things up here on the chest that women have" were called. When she didn't, some smarty pants trainable sweeps in with the correct answer. I guess even trainables can be teachers pets.

Then it's some dude who looks like Rip Taylor talking about how the penis gets hard to some trainable boy who looks like he rather be off doing something else that doesn't involve Rip Taylor talking about a hard dick.

Speaking of Dick, our narrator then says one of the funniest things I've ever heard in any short film ever. "Next we're gonna discuss something that everybody is afraid to talk about. It involves sexual intercourse. Or sex. Or screwing. Or whatever you wanna call it." I personally like "Horizontal Mambo."

We cut to a girl who talks like Lois on "Family Guy" talking about the vagina and how women have three holes. In case you didn't know, they do in fact have three holes. I know, I was shocked too. (Of course, I don't get out as much as I'd like and I run a B-movie review site, so I'm probably alone on that piece of news.)

Then it's Rip Taylor again walking into a bed room asking why this trainable guy isn't up yet. The guy proclaims, rather proudly, "I'm wet and sticky!" I know, I know I shouldn't laugh, but I'm sorry. I had to. Yeah, I'm going to hell. If I believed in hell. (Actually my own personal hell would be having to watch "Cabin Fever" and "House of The Dead" on an endless loop for all of eternity. *Shudder*)

Even more disturbing is a girl holding up a Maxi-Pad showing it to a trainable girl. I've seen this short about maybe 10 times (It's one of my favorites) and I never noticed until I went in to do this review that I swear the pad has been used! EWWW!!! And she's all holding it out n stuff. Yuck! Girl are gross.

After a very uncomfortable scene involving a trainable girl openly masturbating in class (Yes, this happens. Yes, it's filmed. No, I am not posting a picture of it), and some pointless improv (ARRGH! Not Billy Jack again!), the film decides to be uber-disturbing.

Our first stop is a kid, who I swear isn't a "trainable", under his covers playing with himself. His mom walks in and catches him. And instead of doing what every other mother does when she walks in on their kid doing such a thing (running away in shrieking horror, then giving him a stern talking to about it later), she gives one of the most bizarre speeches ever about it. Even the kid in the film was confused by it, he just sat there for five minutes.

Next stop is a trainable, I guess, at a urnial while some guy at the urinal next to him starts rubbing his back. Ew. Then we see what the Charles Manson guy was arrested for: staring at a window for a porno store. Boy, they took peeping seriously in the 70's.

After a priest and a doctor/law officer (I couldn't figure out who that guy was) tell us that trainables are going to hell and they can be arrested (I think), Dick wraps things up and tells us it's ok to take the nearest trainable, show him dirty pictures, make him say bad words, and not to grope them. He seriously says those things. And with that, this little gem of a film comes to a close.

I dunno about you, but this possibly the best damn short film I've ever seen. I was horrified the very first time I saw it, but then I got over it and realized how fuckin' goofy the whole damn thing is. I would love to see an updated version of this...maybe not. They'll probably talk about vibrators and anal beads.

DING-DONG!
-Jason

Molly Grows Up

I often wonder how different my life would've been like if I was born a girl. Would I still be a "movie buff?” Would I be popular and date the captain of the football team? Would I run a moderately successful B-Movie site? Would I get knocked up at the age of 16, run away from home, and change my name to Bambi and work the pole's until I'm 40? Regardless, I consider myself rather lucky to be of the male persuasion, mainly because of this short's subject matter: Menstruation!

Or as it's called in this film, "The Curse.”

After the credits are typed and place in a binder, I notice this was written by a guy. He had ph.d. after his name, but still, shouldn't something like this have been written and handled by a woman? Ah, yes, it was the '50s, when they were only allowed to cook, have babies, and bleed all over the damn place.

Anyway, we meet Molly, who will probably grow up to be a good-looking gal, is talking to some random old ladies on the street. I'm not sure if she knows them, or just needed someone to tell this fascinating story about going to a wedding. Her friend Peggy calls her and they rush to school.

On the way, they run into Nurse Jensen, who asks about Molly's sore throat. We don't know how she got it, why it's important to this film, or why Jensen is so concerned. Maybe this short is a sequel to "Molly Gets Strep Throat."

This might explain how she got a sore thorat.

After Jensen checks Molly's throat at her office, Jensen starts narrating to us saying that Molly is growing up. Hence the title. Then I guess what we see next is a flashback. We are introduced to Molly's family, Mom, who looks like your typical ugly 50's mom (Yeah I called your grandmother ugly, you wanna do something about it?), Dad, who looks like he's pushing 60, and Molly's older sister, Jeanie, who has me convinced that either she or Molly is adopted. Actually, looking at Mom, I suspect Molly.

That's totally a guy in drag. I'm sorry but it is.

 Molly is in Jeanie's room, trying on lipstick and a old lady Church hat, which belongs to Jeanie, and she gets busted by Jeanie. When Molly sees her grabbing for some very old "sanitary napkins,” Molly wonders when she'll get her period. Jeanie says it shouldn't be too long now. And she's right. After the next jump cut, Molly runs home, declaring that she got her period!

Her mom asks "Tell me about it" which makes me wonder if Mom is really a woman or not. I mean, she does know what a period entails, right? Bleeding, cramping, women being bitchy. (I'm gonna get emails on that, aren't I?) It fades to later that evening and Mom is continuing their talk about their periods when Peggy calls.

Molly answers and asks Mom if she can go swimming. Mom says this isn't a good idea cause of her riding the crimson wave, so Molly gets back on the phone and the PMS goes into high swing when she practically yells at poor Peggy, "OF COURSE I CAN'T GO SWIMMING!! DON'T YOU KNOW I HAVE THE CURSE?!!!!!!" If she was talking to a guy, she would've added how small his dick is and that her vibrator does more work then he does.

(I'm not saying that I actually heard these words myself. Ha-ha-ha...no. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna cry now.)

Ok, I'm back. And while Mom is hemming Molly's skirt, 60-year-old dad, who looks like John Carradine from certain angles, walks/shuffles in. He overhears Molly and Mom talking and says, "EH? SPEAK UP!" Then he finds out about Molly's Aunt Flo and realizes she's grown up. Then he makes a surprise in his pants.

"I'm John Carradine. Have you seen my ukelele?"

The next day/week/year/whatever, Nurse Jensen is filling in for the regular teacher. Now, I didn't go to school in the 50's so maybe it was different back then, but I have never heard of the school nurse filling in for a teacher. I can't even imagine what my school nurse would be like as a teacher. We'd probably just have our hair examined for lice, then forced to watch films like these.

Anyway, Jensen goes on and on about girls and their changing bodies and what a period entails. This part is quite educational and now I know. And knowing is half the battle!! (Man, imagine a GI Joe episode ending with something like this. "Joe, my girl is bleeding, why?" "IT'S HER TIME OF THE MONTH!! G.I. JOE STYLE!!!!")

But I imagine most of you know what a period entails, so I don't need to explain this scene. Oh wait. I forgot what site I run. Ok here's the rundown, you nerds:

Chicks have Ovaries. They release an egg cell that, according to this film, you can't see. The egg travels down this thing called the fallopian tube and while that's going on, the walls of the uterus...get shaded in. It's during this time that if a sperm cell meets the egg cell, a baby or as I like to call it "A drunken mistake" forms. If the girl goes the entire month without getting any (or she forces him to use a condom), the heavy shading against the walls of the uterus ooze out of the vagina or hymen or whatever that little thing is called. Hence, all the bleeding.

GET IT?!?!?!?!

See? You didn't think this site could be ed-u-ma-cated-able. Isn't learning fun? (This is actually said in the short by the way.)

Jensen then fields a bunch of stupid questions and while studying a shot of the class I notice these things:
1. I don't see any boys. Well, I think there are some, but they look like girls, so who knows.
2. There's only about 20 people in this class. Maybe this is a '50s thing, but I remember having about 30-35 people in my class. Unless the missing 10 or so are the boys, but then where'd they go? Did they just all happen to ditch on this day? Did Nurse Jensen send them to Mr. Buckner's class to learn about table saws and safety goggles?
And 3. There's no black people. Yes, I know. The '50s. And come to think of it, everyone did talk in Southern accents. Ok, nevermind.

The people circled are who I suspect are boys. I dunno why boys would want to be here but whatever.

"See Molly, you bitch! You owe me an apology!!"

After seeing a chart that totally contradicts Molly's mom about swimming, we cut to an odd shot of Molly dressed like she's gonna audition for the role of "Lolita.” Then we cut to Molly's living room where Jeanie is getting ready to go on a date. We get the typical educational film ending that tell us that soon Molly will be ready to be a grown woman and how she can't wait, and all that good heart warming crap.

I don't know what it is about educational shorts that bring the worst out in me. But this short is pretty damn goofy. I mean "The Curse?” It sounds like something out of a fairy tale. "For not doing your chores, I now Curse you!! You will bleed out of your 'magic place' every month for the rest of your life! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!" Boy, that would've been a goofy version of Cinderella. Prince Charming trying to match a tampon-

Ok, sorry...

Before you send in those nasty emails, just know that I realize you have to put things delicately for little girls who are probably freaking out about bleeding "down there" and I don't mean any disrespect to all womankind. But come on! The Curse?! Square dancing?! And a garter belt/thong to hold the "sanitary napkin?” This thing was just begging me to make fun of it.
And that, my readers, is why I'm glad I'm a boy.
-Jason

Boys Beware

Awhile ago I wrote a review for "Gay Niggers From Outer Space", which, clearly, is a pro-homosexual film. Very, very pro-homosexual film. To show those right-wingers that I, too, am fair and balanced, I shall review an anti-homosexual film. A very, very anti-homosexual film. I should note, however, that I certainly do NOT have a problem with "homosexuals" and that I respect them and everything. But I'm don't wanna be accused of pandering to just one side of the coin, since I'm sure people of all walks of life read my site. 

With that out of the way, let the gay bashing begin!

We start off with Lt. Williams leaving his bland looking police station and heading to his bland car. Oddly enough he passes by a little boy and he pats him on the back. Considering what he tell us in about two minutes, I think something is up with Lt. Williams here.

Williams is our narrator and he's gonna tell us about some homosexual cases he personally worked on. Well, I'm assuming he worked on them cause he seems to know a whole lot about them. The only thing I can figure is Williams is a "evil homosexual" himself and all the guys in the following stories is really him committing these deeds. 

Our first victim is Jimmy. He's casually hitchhiking because that was the thing to do in the 50's. A pervy Jack Nicholson-type picks him up and takes him home. On the way to Jimmy's house, they talk about all sorts of things: baseball, fun, and which actor looks good in a speedo Rock Hudson or Jim Neighbors. 

Ralph, the Nicholson guy, becomes immediate friends with Jimmy, taking him miniature golfing and fishing. It isn't before long that Ralph starts showing him....PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURES!!! OH NOES!!!! And from the looks of 'em I'm guessing it's playing cards with naked guys on the back. 

At this point Lt. Williams informs us that Ralph is a "sick homosexual" and he has a "sickness" which I'm sure he's down with. Jimmy doesn't know about this sickness so he continues to pal around with Ralph. Until one day when Ralph takes Jimmy into what looks like a hotel room. What happened in there I'm not sure. It jumps to Jimmy and his parents walking out of the police station and Williams telling us that Ralph got picked up and is in jail. And Jimmy is released on probation to his parents.

Wait. What?? Isn't Jimmy the victim here? Why is he on probation? Did the stuff we didn't see include Jimmy and Ralph going on a "Devil's Reject's" type massacre through the town or something? Is Jimmy the Patty Hearst of his time? The fuck man?

But enough about that. Let's move onto victim #2 Mike Meritt. Mike is playing basketball with his friends when his friends realize there's a creepy guy in a bowtie watching them. Since they don't like Mike that much, they take off in hopes that bowtie guy will rape and kill Mike. 

So Mike is by himself when Bowtie Guy comes up and starts playing basketball with him. After the surely sweaty game, Bowtie Guy offers to take Mike home. Mike says ok. Williams interjects with "Mike didn't know he would be riding in the shadow of death". I guess he should take a look at his life and realizes there ain't much left. 

And with that...we're done. I guess what that "Shadow of Death" statement means is Bowtie Guy did in fact rape and kill Mike. Cause you know, according to this film, homosexuals are pedophiles and murderers. But enough of that bad stuff, let's meet victim number 3!

Denny is doing a paper route with his friend Jerry. They watch two people ride by on bikes. Not even 10 seconds later, a dude in a car pulls up and asks if they saw two guys on bikes. Denny is all like "Yep!" and the dude in the car goes "Get in and let's get them!" and Denny is all like "Ok!" and he stupidly does.

"I like doing the crosswords for the people. Save them some time!"

If Denny does end up raped and murdered, I gotta say he deserved it. What the hell kind of pick up line is that? "Let's go after those two guys on bikes cause they stole them". The fuck? Well Jerry, thankfully, is the smart one and he ends up writing the dude's license plate number on one of the newspapers. Uh oh! Mr. Perry White isn't gonna like that! Someone's getting a whole dime taken out of their paycheck next week.

So Jerry continues with his route while Denny is probably doing all kinds of positions I'm sure he never even dreamt of doing. Jerry oddly enough ends up at Denny's house and gives his mom her paper and asks if Denny came back. Denny's Mom says no and Denny gives her the paper with the licence plate number. They call the police and in no time they find the dude and his car. And I'm gonna assume Denny. Since Williams didn't say anything about the shadow of death.

I figured three stories would be a nice round number in a ten minute short but I guess they had a couple of minutes to spare, so we get a bonus story! Score!! Weren't the kids in the 50's lucky? 

So it's off to victim #4, Bobby. Williams informs us that public bathrooms is just full of sick and demented homosexuals and if you visit one, and you're above the age of 18, you are indeed a homosexual. NOW you tell me. So Bobby and his friends leave a public bathroom when they notice a weird guy just kinda lookin' at them. They all decide to get the hell out of there but they disagree on which way to take. Bobby's friends take the path more traveled, but Bobby, cause he's a rebel and a loner, takes the path less taken. 

While going down this path, Bobby notices that pervy bathroom guy is following him. Bobby then decides maybe Robert Frost was onto something and runs off to join his friends. But...his friends also visited the public bathroom. That must mean they're sick homosexuals also!!! And they probably raped and tortured Bobby. But Williams doesn't tell us that.

Instead he tells us the typical closing stuff like be careful and pay attention and don't talk to strangers and don't do stuff and don't have fun and don't ride bikes and all that other stuff you weren't allowed to do in the 50's cause sick demented homosexuals were everywhere! And for god sakes DON'T GO TO A PUBLIC BATHROOM!!!!!!!

I think this short is a little bit over the top. I mean just cause someone's a homosexual doesn't make them some kind of little boy killer. And just cause a little boy wants to be friends with an old balding guy who wears bowties doesn't mean anything sexual is going on. Sheesh. Like this one guy when I was a kid, Mr. Dave. Mr. Dave use to wear a bowtie and he would come by my school and give me a ride home, even though I lived two blocks away. And he's give me candy and take me out to baseball games. And we'd sometimes go to public bathrooms where I sucked on a pretty large popsicle.....wait....

-Jason

Gayniggers From Outer Space

Before I start this review, I'm just gonna say that I was going to write a lengthy warning. Not about the content, the title alone should tip you off. But the warning was for my own personal sake. It was gonna state that I am in no way a homophobe or a racist and me putting this review on this site does not make me so. But then I realized I shouldn't have to put a warning up because I have never given any sign before that I was. This film is on this site only as a b-movie, not for its "message" or cast or whatever. On the other hand, any hate mail I'll get should be humorous to me, so if you are a tight ass conservative republican, send the hate my way.

Speaking of tight asses, let's get with this film, which I'll just call "GNFOS" from this point on.

GNFOS was made, as far as I can tell, as part of three requirements to join the GNAA (The AA part is Association of America. The GN part should be no surprise, by looking at the title.) You have to watch this film first, then answer a quiz about it, and some other third thing in order to join. So I must say, if you are going to join, do not use this review as a Cliffnote.

Before the movie even begins, there's a weird 10 second clip of a beer commerical. I don't know what it has to do with this movie, but it's there. And now I'm thirsty.

We start with a Barry White-esque voice over stating that we are going to meet the crew of the spaceship Ringmusculatarus 2. Their five-year mission is to "boldly go where no gay has gone before." (Movie's wording, not mine.) Then we meet the crew as they do things to their obviously fake spaceship. Oh, and they are from the planet Anus. Yet again, movie's wording, not mine.

Shaved Balls, the chief Technician, finds that they are coming toward a planet. It's big, blue, and has water. So let's call it, "EARTH". They do a scan on the planet and realize that there are female life forms on the planet. Captain B. Dick calls for ArmInAss, an "agent", and they go into a room privately.

Here, I thought for sure it was gonna turn into a gay porno because Arm suddenly takes his shirt off and lies on a table. Then Dick starts rubbing Arm on the chest, then on the head...the one on top I mean. Dick says that he chose Arm so he could get some training in since he's fresh out of gay agent school. His mission, should he choose to accept it, to go to the planet and see if there are in fact any female life forms. Arm reluctantly accepts.

They beam Arm down and he lands in what could possibly be the seediest part of any town I have ever seen. There's nothing but homeless people, making out with hookers, and pimps, making out with, I'm guessing, homeless hookers. Oh and for some reason, the opening of "The Theme From Shaft" is playing. A "female life form" approaches Arm and asks if he's looking for a good time. His response?

"FEMALE!!!! FEMALE!!!! FEMALE!!!!"

Then shooting her with his ray gun-type thing, causing her to vanish. Arm beams back up to the ship, where they hook him up to a goofy ass mind reader device. They see on the screen a homeless dude and a FEMALE kissing. And I should point out that Dick says "This must be that 'kissing' I've heard about", which confuses me cause, you know, don't gay people kiss too?

So Dick takes it upon himself to send his crew down there and get rid of all the female life forms who are repressing the male life forms. What we get for the next ten minutes is quite possibly the most offensive thing I have ever seen put on film.

They pick three countries at random, starting with Russia. The computer says some not-so-very nice things about the woman in Russia, so the German gay-youknowwhat goes down and takes care of them. He proceeds to hug the males nearby, while I swear the ending song for "Fiddler On The Roof" plays.

It's like a GAY!! ON THE ROOF!!! Sorry.

Next up is Japan. Basically the same thing, except two Japanese chicks are laughing at some Japanese dude while he puts chopsticks in a napkin and wraps it up. I dunno what's going on here, but Ildo shows up and nukes the two Gogo's.

On the last stop of the "Offend Every Nation In The World" Tour, is Germany. The picture speaks for itself.

After Arm kills the one German chick, he, with the others, beams back and declares that the world is rid of females. Damn, that was fast. By my count, that was 5 females. Including the one from the seedy town, that's 6. So there were only 6 females on the planet? What about the hookers and/or the homeless chicks? Who took care of them? And where was that at? America?

Anyway, Dick says now the males of Earth need to be taught how to, I'm being serious here, give birth. And to make it worse, give birth to only male children. And they'll need an ambassador to do that. So they go to their holy brown ring, stick their arms in it, and it picks one of them to be the ambassador. It picks D. Ildo, a "data processor". Sure.

For some strange reason, this means Ildo had to change his appearance, so he does and he transforms himself into a European Charles Nelson Riley. When he's transformed, the crew starts drooling over him. So I guess they can date other races, despite what we just saw five minutes ago.

Before...

FABULOUS!!!

The crew then beams down to Earth to drop Ildo off and suddenly the film becomes color. I'm sure this is symbolic, but frankly what it could mean disturbs me and possibly everyone else reading this. They land at some kind of bathhouse, or something and...

Oh Jesus Christ, this dude is with a kid! WHAT?!?!?!

At this bathhouse, Dick pours his "N-word seed" on Ildo and tells him to go out to the world and teach. The rest beam back up and the narrator ends things stating that the crew continues their strange mission, to find any planet where male life forms are being repressed by female life forms, and to make this universe a gay universe. The end.

I really never had any idea that gay people dislike women that much. I mean, damn. And it also bothers me that Dick just took it upon himself to say he's gonna rid the world of females and let males give birth. Did we, straight males, ask for this? No. I mean, yeah women can be a pain in the ass at times, but I'm sure we wouldn't wish they'd vanish off the face of the planet. You know, can't live with them, can't live without them. And I also think that any typical straight male would be too lazy or scared to give birth. We'd just eventually die out. Unless...that was their plan all along. Hmm...I'm onto you GNAA.

I...can't give this a rating. Sorry.
-Jason